Friday, March 5, 2010

telescope eyes and metal teeth

From there, my vision or dream or whatever it was, transitioned to a horrible, calamitous state. I was thrown into a great forest, a forest who's vines were overgrown. Overgrown and different colored. Darkly colored and encircling around me like the arm of a false friend sent to whisper pretty things in my ear. A least desired cage in it's finest form. I am disheveled and disoriented. From the ache in my body and the dirt and sweat on my face and everywhere else, I have been running for a long time. From one I am most frightened of. I know his secrets, his deepest and darkest. And now, I have made him angry and he is relinquishing his wrath upon me. I smell his closeness. I take of like a deer in the headlights, scared to death of what is imminent. My legs are weak, regardless, I run. I feel his malice converging. His telescope eyes see my every move. His matted, red brown hair askew. His instincts bare, and ready to take me out. His metal teeth borne to show me how he's been stabbed. His intention: to take me out before I can hurt him.
He's got me right where he wants me. He has me in a death grip and I am too weak to escape. He moves in, not looking me in the eye once. He takes his knife from his hip and with a groan, permeates me with it. I do not cry, I do not scream out. He stabs my heart first, the most fragile part of me. Then the rest of me. My body writhes in anguish, but my soul lives on. I feel the pain no longer. he continues to stab saying over and over "I didn't want this, I didn't want this." I see his eyes stab my consciousness for a mere moment. his eyes like that of a beast. they plead for forgiveness. "Please, don't make me cry. I'm just like you, I know you know. I'm just like you, so leave me alone." And then, all is black.

Consciousness finds it's way back to me and I find myself in the arms of another. In the arms of my Deirdre-bird. My best and closest. My bosom friend. I held her close to me, our hearts pressed against each other's with no intention of letting go. I knew the blood from the beast's impact was soaking through her clothes, but I didn't have the heart to tell her to let go. For hours that felt like moments and moments that felt like hours, we embraced. No one was nearer to me and I loved it that way. I released her and told her she must get back to where she needed to be as I drifted in and out. She'd seen my worst and now she was watching me die. "Deirdre, my darling, don't get lost in the wave." She looked at me with her grassy eyes, crying black tears so chagrin. Like the beast's. Except, hers begging me to come back. To stay. I go in and out of the dark and towards the last, she glows brighter and brighter when I come to. Like an angel, fierce. With telescope eyes that see me as a child. She strokes my hair, crying and singing softly. My eyelids flutter and I am gone.